Greetings, fellow travelers and victims of the friendly skies! Mikael here, reporting live from 30,000 feet in the air, or as I like to call it, the "altitude of attitude adjustment." Today, I'm regaling you with the tale of our recent 10.5-hour marathon on Lufthansa's A350, a journey that tested our patience, our posteriors, and our palates.
Let me set the scene for you: we're hurtling through the air at a speed that defies both logic and our collective ability to comprehend the miracle of flight. The seats on this A350 are a paradox—they look like clouds but feel like rocks. I'm convinced the in-flight entertainment system is designed to distract us from the fact that our backsides have declared mutiny. After a few hours, I couldn't feel my legs. I was tempted to do a wellness check just to make sure they were still there.
As we descended into the Miami International Airport, I couldn't help but wonder if our pilot mistook the runway for a landing pad made of marshmallows. Spoiler alert: he didn't. The jolt upon landing was a wake-up call for my numb derriere – a courtesy reminder that we were back on solid ground, though my posterior would beg to differ.
Now, let's talk about the culinary symphony that serenaded us from a tray that can only be described as a Picasso masterpiece – if Picasso's medium was questionable airplane food. Picture this: a plastic container with a lid that may or may not have been hermetically sealed to contain its contents. Inside, a mysterious goo that defied categorization. I'm no Gordon Ramsay, but even he would've thrown in the towel and ordered takeout.
Note to self and all future travelers: bring a granola bar, a sandwich, a five-course meal, heck, bring a Thanksgiving turkey if you have to. The in-flight meal is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach.
But hey, all jesting aside, the joys of flying coach are like a rollercoaster ride – bumpy, occasionally nauseating, but undeniably thrilling. And just like a rollercoaster, you'll probably want to grab a snack before you board. Bon appétit and safe travels, my fellow coach comrades! May your seats be softer and your meals more edible on your next airborne escapade.